On This Day

I hate the “On this day” feature sometimes. It takes me back to the deep pain I endured 3 years ago. Broke. Exhausted emotionally, physically and spiritually. What little hope I had left was in 2 things. First, God. Second, I hoped one day to leave Dayton, Ohio where the memories of emotional abuse at the hands of multiple people would be out of my sight forever. I dreamed of a quiet move away from everything to a very small town in the South where I would start my life over quietly. As a friend told me “Man. You need a whole life reboot.” I’d get a little boat maybe and maybe try my hand at fishing. Work at a diner. Whatever it took to move past this nightmare. I’d go there and just be grateful for everyday.
I had lost faith in myself. In my church. In my elders. In most of my friends. No one had any concrete answers for me, except those who told me I must have done something to deserve what happened to me. It takes two to tango they told me. Some of them told me no matter what I said or did they would never believe me. I hung onto those words for far too long. I believed them for far too long. I cared about them for far too long.

But God wasn’t done, was he? His plans were still happening all around me, I just couldn’t see them.

Today, I sit in the shade on our porch on a 70 something degree day working through the last parts of my next book Colossal, which is a story about Jesus, and hope, and how he can take something so broken and torn apart, and make it into something beautiful and new and free, free from everything in its past and free from all expectations. Colossal is a book about me and it’s about you, and it’s all about how Jesus is the most important person in all of our lives. It’s about your story and mine, and how Jesus can do anything, even when we don’t think anything can be done. I was there. I lived the story of desperation and despair. I thought I knew what his plans were for me, but I was incredibly wrong about everything.

I’m quite proud of the stories in this book. I know God has a purpose for it, and that’s I wrote it. That’s why I’m here, someone told me recently. To tell others the story of God’s love. I can do that, I think. With his help, anything is possible.

Your story… Your story isn’t over, not by a long shot. Keep praying. Stay faithful my friends. God isn’t done with you yet. You just never know what might happen next.

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